When I was promoted to trainer at a foreign company in Malaysia, I felt like I was on cloud nine.
I had taught myself English after turning 40, achieved results at an overseas company, and finally been recognized - it felt like I had taken another step in my life.
However, the reality was not so sweet.
The joy of the promotion did not last long, and from this point on I fell into the midst of failure, loneliness, and conflict
However, the experience I will describe in this chapter was an important learning experience that would later fundamentally change my way of thinking about "human resource development" and even change the direction of my life.
- Mistake 1: I couldn't contain my excitement about my promotion and forgot about the dangers of the "narrow Japanese society"
- Mistake 2: Being too strict with new employees. This was born out of fear, not righteousness.
- Failure 3: The moment I said something I shouldn’t have said, my world fell apart again.
- One day, I suddenly found myself alone at work.
- At that time, my Indian boss quietly supported me.
- However, his heart as a trainer was breaking.
- But, one last time, "my heart was on fire"
- The essence of management that I learned in Malaysia
- Next time: Vol.8: A 9-day holiday in Bali and Lembongan Island - A relaxing time
Mistake 1: I couldn't contain my excitement about my promotion and forgot about the dangers of the "narrow Japanese society"
When I received the promotion, I was so happy about it that I said something I shouldn't have.
"I'm finally going to become a trainer!"
I couldn't contain my excitement, so I immediately told a colleague who joined the company at the same time.
However, even if it is an overseas company, workplaces that employ a large number of Japanese people very similar to Japanese society.
Who is friendly with whom, who has done what, who likes whom... It is a world where rumors like this spread in the blink of an eye.
As expected, I was immediately called in by my Japanese manager and severely scolded before I even took up my position.
At this point, I realized it all too well.
Working overseas does not mean escaping Japanese society.
When Japanese people gather together, they bring with them Japanese culture.
This was my first taste of bitter reality.
Mistake 2: Being too strict with new employees. This was born out of fear, not righteousness.
Next up was my first class of four new employees.
Although I was anxious and thought, "As a trainer, I should have more knowledge," I may have let my guard down somewhere. What made things even worse was the words of a senior trainer.
"If the training scores are not up to standard, the new employee will be fired."
Looking back now, I think there was something wrong with the way he said it,
but at the time I just believed him.
Then, in his anxiety to "not let this new employee get fired," he ended up treating the new employee, who was not good at using computers, more harshly than necessary.
"Why can't you do it?" "You have to be able to do this at least."
What I said may not have been wrong,
but the way I said it, the timing, and the distance I kept were all wrong.
The new hire didn't say anything to me, but instead took his frustrations directly to management .
As a result, I was treated as a "trainer who went too far" and had to apologize to the new employee.
I still clearly remember the feeling I had at that time: "I wanted to protect him, but instead I ended up cornering him."
Teaching under the guise of "righteousness" does not develop people. It only fosters fear in others.
And above all, this was guidance that was the result of my own fear of not wanting to be fired .
Failure 3: The moment I said something I shouldn’t have said, my world fell apart again.
But the company still gave me a chance.
The next class I was assigned to had about 18 students.
I tried to change my mindset, thinking, "If I can produce results here, I'll be fine."
However, one day when I let my guard down a little , I told the new employees something that I should never have said
This is a story about a colleague I had some trouble with when we were sharing a room.
He was a senior colleague to new employees.
From their perspective, they were seniors they had never met before,
and they had said something negative to them in front of the new recruits.
This caused another big stir.
Again, I received a stern warning from the Japanese manager, and gradually I began to feel like I was no longer fitting in with the trainer team
The problem at the time is described in this article.
One day, I suddenly found myself alone at work.
There were two other Japanese people working as trainers.
They were good friends and often hung out together, but I rarely joined them.
I can't join in on small talk.
I'm getting invited to lunch less and less.
When something does happen, it's happening somewhere else, without me.
Quietly but clearly, I became isolated
Later, another colleague told me,
"I've seen you every day and I knew you were always alone,
but I didn't know how to talk to you."
To be honest, when I heard those words, I felt both happy and a little disappointed at the same time.
At that time, my Indian boss quietly supported me.
In my loneliness, my boss, an Indian man with a wealth of experience as a trainer, reached out to me. He was younger than me, but I could rely on him.
I can only speak to him in English, but he always listens carefully to my poor English.
One day, he pointed out the window of his office and said,
"Nakamura-san, look at that cafeteria.
The people having lunch there are still talking bad about others today.
Can you stop them from talking bad about others? I'm sure you can't.
So, there's no need to worry about such things."
On another day, he told me this story:
"Have you ever seen the morning traffic jams in Malaysia?
No one can really change that,
so there's no point in getting angry.
It's best not to worry too much about things you can't change."
These were the kinds of advice I rarely received when speaking to managers in Japan.
It was a very simple, yet profound message that encouraged me to not be too hard on myself.
However, his heart as a trainer was breaking.
However, this does not change the reality of the work environment.
- Complaints from newcomers
- Gossip that is heard through word of mouth
- Days when I'm not confident in my own way of doing things
- And my salary didn't increase as much as I expected.
No matter how much support my Indian boss provided, I couldn't really imagine myself working here for a long time
Before I knew it,
"Am I really suited to being someone who develops others?"
I kept asking myself this question.
But, one last time, "my heart was on fire"
At that time, my Indian boss told me:
"We don't have enough trainers to accept new employees. Could you do it again?"
I hesitated for a moment, but then I quickly found myself motivated.
"This is my last chance. This time, I want to truly nurture people."
decided to implement a completely different
teaching method from what I had done before - one that involves first accepting the other person's values
Don't get angry.
Don't criticize.
Don't overlook any small improvements and praise them.
The result of interacting in this way-
◆ All new employees achieved their training goals.
Together, we achieved a goal that no one had been able to achieve before.
At this point, I clearly understood.
What motivates people is not "fear" but "approval."
If the leader changes, the leader will also change.
This experience was a great asset in my subsequent job interview in Bangkok.
The essence of management that I learned in Malaysia
Through this last class of training, I finally understood.
Management is not a job of "forcing your own way of doing things"
and it is certainly not a job of "proving that you are right."
There's only one thing to do.
"First, accept the other person's values."
Then,
- Where can you expand?
- Where can I do my best?
- Where don't you understand?
Let's explore that together.
Many Japanese companies have a strong culture of promoting the most successful sales staff to managerial positions.
However, the most successful employees often believe that their way of doing things is absolutely right
If you continue to think like this while on the management side, the frustration of "Why can't they do something like this?" will quickly lead to power harassment.
In Malaysia, while working in the field of human resource development, I learned through my own failures how dangerous it is.
That's why I want to say something to those of you reading this article who are currently in management positions.
First, why not take a look at "the way that person does things" and
try to accept it for a moment?
I now believe that true "development" can only begin with that first step.
Next time: Vol.8: A 9-day holiday in Bali and Lembongan Island - A relaxing time
In my next article, I will write about the experience I had when, after being pushed both physically and mentally as a trainer, I took a nine-day holiday and went on my first solo trip abroad to Bali, where I spent time "recovering myself."
This includes the smell of the sea I felt on Lembongan Island and that moment when I was reminded of the Seto Inland Sea.
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